Are You Smarter than a Linebacker?

Back in February college's best football players met for Festivus... I mean The Combine, where the players performed feats of strength while freely salivating GMs, coaches, and scouts poked and probed their prospects like they were chunky Angus steers. With the NFL draft looming this weekend, the media is abuzz with numbers from those workouts, leading to orgies of digit-laden sentences like, "this 6-2, 230 pounder, who runs a 4.3 40 and a 6.74 three-cone, should go in the top 10 of Round 2."

What many people don't know is that, in addition to proving their physical prowess on the field, the NFL hopefuls also have to undergo intelligence testing. Known as the Wonderlic Test—50 multiple-choice questions that must be completed in 12 minutes—the exam determines how adept the athletes are at complex problem solving. (Apparently the NFL considers getting accepted to, and graduating from, an accredited American university an insufficient gauge of brainpower. They are not alone.)

Although the scores can be useful in judging the ability of players to read complex offenses and defenses, for the most part only the quarterback's numbers are considered important, given the crucial need for someone who can think clearly while trying to evade a 900-pound tsunami of frenzied defensive linemen.

Some impressive scores in recent years: Eli Manning (39), Tony Romo (37) and Tom Brady (33). Some underwhelming scores: Dan Marino (15), Terry Bradshaw (15), and Donovan McNabb (14), which is just a notch above photosynthesis on the scale of cerebral dexterity.

Sports Nuts News recently obtained a sample of the test and was surprised to find some real mind-bogglers:

• True or False: Lasagna is a a kind of dog.

• Your Ferrari has 450 horsepower and gets 11 mpg; your Hummer H2 has 325 horsepower and gets 13 mpg; and your Mercedes-Benz SUV has 290 horsepower and gets 16 mpg. What is your ZIP code?

• Which of the following is NOT a day of the week?
() Monday
() Friday
() Saturday
() Popcorn

Okay, so an NFL huddle will never be confused with a Harvard symposium on particle physics. But at least we have an idea of which players will be running onto the field with their helmets on backwards.


Mixed Nuts:

•Holy crap. Jared Allen going to the Vikings makes that Nordic defense look frightening. Allen's 15.5 sacks in a suspension-shortened (two games) season might be worth what Minnesota had to give up to get him. Hope there's a DUI clause in that record contract. Can't wait to see what the Chiefs do with all those bingo cards Saturday.

• Open Memo to the Cincinnati Bengals: Please forward me your mailing address so I can send you three dozen long-stems for refusing to deal Chad Johnson to, not one, not two, but THREE NFC East teams. Big Blue loves you.

• Dead Last: ESPN commissioned a nationwide survey of fans to identify which NFL, NBA, NHL, and NBA teams are the most beloved by the sports nuts who fork over their hard-earned time and money to support them. Bringing up the basement, as usual: The New York Knicks.

A new Sports Nuts design...