One is the Onliest Number

I don't want to hear about how great you did on your brackets, k? How hard was it on March 20 to write UCLA, UNC, Kansas, and Memphis in the Final Four brackets? March Madness is about underdogs—just a wide-eyed bunch of Hickory Husker wannabes with a broken down bus and dreams of Nike endorsements.

Now, with Davidson gone it's like watching Superman, Batman, Spiderman, and Captain America fight over the last Heineken in the frig. Granted, an interesting fight (Superman in a cake walk, btw), but far more interesting if Howard the Duck shows up to kick some super brat ass.

Screw it. I'm writing in Coppin State.

Mixed Nuts:

• This just in about the Not-er-Bockers... Donnie Walsh Named New President of Knicks Operations! aweirw fiw[q[ [pfw 2093019 ... Sorry for that outburst, it's not easy to type while doing cartwheels. First order of business with the team on the verge of losing a franchise record 60 games? Thank Isiah for his service as coach and set him up with a lucrative falafel vendorship outside the Garden.

• Three and one third. That's how many innings it took Pedro "Help, I've Fallen" Martinez to injure himself yet again and cast a pall over the Mets' season. I love Pedro but I think the organization has to give some serious thought to maintaining a starter who can't tie his cleats without splintering a femur. Sorry Pedro. But I hear Isiah is hiring falafel makers!


A new Sports Nuts design...