Time once again to remind our readers how great Sports Nuts News is...
• predicted the Giants Super Bowl victory
• two weeks after SNN posted the headline "Who's the Manning?" Sports Illustrated answered with a cover headline, "Eli's the Manning" (Okay, maybe not the cleverest of headers but if the world's leading sports publication can use it, it's nice to think that they stole it from us.)
• predicted the Rangers to win in five in the NHL playoffs first round
• missed the predicted date of Bye-siah Thomas' firing by only 24 hours
Not bad for three months' work.
Mixed Nuts:
• Winner of this month's Golden Duh Award: ESPN's Stephen A. Smith, who said, "If you think the firing of Isiah Thomas will solve all the Knicks' problems, think again." Gee, you mean a new coach won't get us into the 2009 finals despite five years of bad contracts, bad management, bad coaching, bad karma, and bad blood? Thanks, Carnac.
• Nice to see Danica win her first—a true landmark for women in racing—but I've yet to see a news outlet fail to note that the reason for her victory was her pit crew's judicious fuel strategy. She may have had something to do with it, too, guys.
• Note to Maaaaaarrrrrtttttyyyy Brodeur: Good luck getting Steve Avery out of your head this summer. Might as well invite him over to dinner every night. He's going to be there anyway.
• NBA playoff predictions:
- West/Round 1: Lakers, Spurs, Hornets, Jazz
- East/Round 1: Celts, Cavs, Magic, Pistons
Showing posts with label isiah thomas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label isiah thomas. Show all posts
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
Bye-siah
Apologies if Sports Nuts News is spending inordinate amounts of time praying for the unemployment of Isiah Thomas. I've been trying to put the season behind me but then, this quote Wednesday from new Knicks president Donnie Walsh:
"Yeah, I would say that we're going to go through the season because there's only four games left, and I'm going to use this period to try to take a look at the whole situation so I'm in a position to make whatever decision is going to be made — if there are any."
IF there are any?
The only decision for Knicks fans is whether to fire Isiah Thomas at the final buzzer of the season-ending game in Indiana on Wednesday or whether to wait until the press conference Thursday morning. Of course Walsh, being a knowledgeable executive and a decent person, will probably give Isiah time to contemplate the season and to explain where things went wrong. And Isiah, being a conceited and self-absorbed ostrich will likely have a number of excuses, like Starbury's inexcusable behavior, that pesky little multi-million-dollar sexual harassment suit, or how hard it is to coach in New York. Walsh can save himself some time and just read this New York magazine article, appropriately titled, "Absolutely, Positively the Worst Team in the History of Professional Sports."
To make matters worse, with a three-game winning streak in recent days the Knicks have evaded the possibility of losing a franchise-record 60 games, which is Coach Thomas's crowning achievement this season, but, with each win, they take themselves further from the top draft position in the lottery. So if we win, we lose, and if we lose.... wait. I did that bit on March 23.
Mixed Nuts:
• If Tiger wins at Augusta this weekend I suggest he just toss his hat in the ring to become the first professional golfer to win the Democratic nomination for president. What else is left? Really.
• Prediction: That New Jersey Devils machine is done, stuck in the mud, somewhere in the swamps of Jersey. Rangers in five.
• Gotta love the first couple of weeks of baseball season. At this writing, the Florida Marlins, the Baltimore Orioles, and the Kansas City Royals are all in first place. There's three teams wishing the season could end on April 30.
"Yeah, I would say that we're going to go through the season because there's only four games left, and I'm going to use this period to try to take a look at the whole situation so I'm in a position to make whatever decision is going to be made — if there are any."
IF there are any?
The only decision for Knicks fans is whether to fire Isiah Thomas at the final buzzer of the season-ending game in Indiana on Wednesday or whether to wait until the press conference Thursday morning. Of course Walsh, being a knowledgeable executive and a decent person, will probably give Isiah time to contemplate the season and to explain where things went wrong. And Isiah, being a conceited and self-absorbed ostrich will likely have a number of excuses, like Starbury's inexcusable behavior, that pesky little multi-million-dollar sexual harassment suit, or how hard it is to coach in New York. Walsh can save himself some time and just read this New York magazine article, appropriately titled, "Absolutely, Positively the Worst Team in the History of Professional Sports."
To make matters worse, with a three-game winning streak in recent days the Knicks have evaded the possibility of losing a franchise-record 60 games, which is Coach Thomas's crowning achievement this season, but, with each win, they take themselves further from the top draft position in the lottery. So if we win, we lose, and if we lose.... wait. I did that bit on March 23.
Mixed Nuts:
• If Tiger wins at Augusta this weekend I suggest he just toss his hat in the ring to become the first professional golfer to win the Democratic nomination for president. What else is left? Really.
• Prediction: That New Jersey Devils machine is done, stuck in the mud, somewhere in the swamps of Jersey. Rangers in five.
• Gotta love the first couple of weeks of baseball season. At this writing, the Florida Marlins, the Baltimore Orioles, and the Kansas City Royals are all in first place. There's three teams wishing the season could end on April 30.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
One is the Onliest Number
I don't want to hear about how great you did on your brackets, k? How hard was it on March 20 to write UCLA, UNC, Kansas, and Memphis in the Final Four brackets? March Madness is about underdogs—just a wide-eyed bunch of Hickory Husker wannabes with a broken down bus and dreams of Nike endorsements.
Now, with Davidson gone it's like watching Superman, Batman, Spiderman, and Captain America fight over the last Heineken in the frig. Granted, an interesting fight (Superman in a cake walk, btw), but far more interesting if Howard the Duck shows up to kick some super brat ass.
Screw it. I'm writing in Coppin State.
Mixed Nuts:
• This just in about the Not-er-Bockers... Donnie Walsh Named New President of Knicks Operations! aweirw fiw[q[ [pfw 2093019 ... Sorry for that outburst, it's not easy to type while doing cartwheels. First order of business with the team on the verge of losing a franchise record 60 games? Thank Isiah for his service as coach and set him up with a lucrative falafel vendorship outside the Garden.
• Three and one third. That's how many innings it took Pedro "Help, I've Fallen" Martinez to injure himself yet again and cast a pall over the Mets' season. I love Pedro but I think the organization has to give some serious thought to maintaining a starter who can't tie his cleats without splintering a femur. Sorry Pedro. But I hear Isiah is hiring falafel makers!
A new Sports Nuts design...
Now, with Davidson gone it's like watching Superman, Batman, Spiderman, and Captain America fight over the last Heineken in the frig. Granted, an interesting fight (Superman in a cake walk, btw), but far more interesting if Howard the Duck shows up to kick some super brat ass.
Screw it. I'm writing in Coppin State.
Mixed Nuts:
• This just in about the Not-er-Bockers... Donnie Walsh Named New President of Knicks Operations! aweirw fiw[q[ [pfw 2093019 ... Sorry for that outburst, it's not easy to type while doing cartwheels. First order of business with the team on the verge of losing a franchise record 60 games? Thank Isiah for his service as coach and set him up with a lucrative falafel vendorship outside the Garden.
• Three and one third. That's how many innings it took Pedro "Help, I've Fallen" Martinez to injure himself yet again and cast a pall over the Mets' season. I love Pedro but I think the organization has to give some serious thought to maintaining a starter who can't tie his cleats without splintering a femur. Sorry Pedro. But I hear Isiah is hiring falafel makers!
A new Sports Nuts design...
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Where is Donald Trump when you need him?
"I believe one day we will win a championship here, and I believe a couple of these guys will be a part of that, and I believe I will be a part of that."
No, those aren't the words of new Dodgers manager Joe Torre or Houston Texans head coach Gary Kubiak, who guided his team to a respectable .500 record this year for the first time in team history.
No. Those are the words of... excuse me, I can't believe I'm typing this... those are the words of ISIAH THOMAS! The head coach of the NBA's New York Nots—who have lost their last five games, and 11 of their last 13, and 22 of the 30 they've played this season—actually believes he can lead this "team" to an NBA title. Apparently, he hasn't heard the chorus of fans filling the Garden with the not-so-dulcet strains of "Fire Isiah Now!" Apparently he hasn't noticed that ESPN has named him the top choice for the coach most likely to be fired... and soon. Apparently he hasn't noticed Nike's newly released Isiah Thomas model: Air Head.
So let's add Sports Nuts News to the cacophonous din of fans asking, imploring, pleading Isiah to please, PLEASE, consider the many benefits of owning your own Amway distributorship.
Enjoy today's Sports Nuts design, available at www.cafepress.com/sportsnuts.
No, those aren't the words of new Dodgers manager Joe Torre or Houston Texans head coach Gary Kubiak, who guided his team to a respectable .500 record this year for the first time in team history.
No. Those are the words of... excuse me, I can't believe I'm typing this... those are the words of ISIAH THOMAS! The head coach of the NBA's New York Nots—who have lost their last five games, and 11 of their last 13, and 22 of the 30 they've played this season—actually believes he can lead this "team" to an NBA title. Apparently, he hasn't heard the chorus of fans filling the Garden with the not-so-dulcet strains of "Fire Isiah Now!" Apparently he hasn't noticed that ESPN has named him the top choice for the coach most likely to be fired... and soon. Apparently he hasn't noticed Nike's newly released Isiah Thomas model: Air Head.
So let's add Sports Nuts News to the cacophonous din of fans asking, imploring, pleading Isiah to please, PLEASE, consider the many benefits of owning your own Amway distributorship.
Enjoy today's Sports Nuts design, available at www.cafepress.com/sportsnuts.
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