I Don't Like to Brag

Time once again to remind our readers how great Sports Nuts News is...

• predicted the Giants Super Bowl victory
• two weeks after SNN posted the headline "Who's the Manning?" Sports Illustrated answered with a cover headline, "Eli's the Manning" (Okay, maybe not the cleverest of headers but if the world's leading sports publication can use it, it's nice to think that they stole it from us.)
• predicted the Rangers to win in five in the NHL playoffs first round
• missed the predicted date of Bye-siah Thomas' firing by only 24 hours

Not bad for three months' work.

Mixed Nuts:

• Winner of this month's Golden Duh Award: ESPN's Stephen A. Smith, who said, "If you think the firing of Isiah Thomas will solve all the Knicks' problems, think again." Gee, you mean a new coach won't get us into the 2009 finals despite five years of bad contracts, bad management, bad coaching, bad karma, and bad blood? Thanks, Carnac.

• Nice to see Danica win her first—a true landmark for women in racing—but I've yet to see a news outlet fail to note that the reason for her victory was her pit crew's judicious fuel strategy. She may have had something to do with it, too, guys.

• Note to Maaaaaarrrrrtttttyyyy Brodeur: Good luck getting Steve Avery out of your head this summer. Might as well invite him over to dinner every night. He's going to be there anyway.

• NBA playoff predictions:
- West/Round 1: Lakers, Spurs, Hornets, Jazz
- East/Round 1: Celts, Cavs, Magic, Pistons

Perfect Shmerfect... Fermo de tutti Fermi

You wanna talk NFL catches? Okay, let's talk NFL catches. Forget Dwight Clark's "The Catch" in the '81 NFC championship. Forget Lynn Swann in SB X. Forget even the Giants/Niners replacement game during the '87 strike (where "Giants" wide receiver Lewis Bennett reached behind the defender, tipped the ball over him, and grabbed it for a touchdown).

Forget them all. There has never been a catch to equal David Tyree's last night in SB 42. That catch was the Ringling Bros. center ring of circus catches. A blindfolded guy on a high wire juggling Volkswagons.

Recap for the six Tibetan monks who were meditating on a Himalayan mountaintop when their cable when out...

A minute and small change left, Giants on New England's 44, third and five. Nanoseconds from being sacked, Eli Manning—his jersey still stretched by the beefy clutches of the Patriot defense—somehow squirts through the sausage grinder and chucks a benediction down field. Well-covered and airborne... actually INVERTED and airborne... Tyree leaps and grabs Manning's 32-yarder by PINNING THE BALL TO HIS HELMET. He literally holds it against his blue-clad skull while falling backwards and then landing on top of defender Rodney Harrison. There isn't a single person who saw it—Giants fan, Patriots fan, or the people just watching for the commercials—who expected that ball to stay in Tyree's hands, or should I say, on his head. It HAD to be an incompletion. It HAD to pop out of his hands. It HAD to be fourth down and a long-shot field goal attempt. There's no way he could... But he did. Three plays later Manning lofts a gimme into the corner and the GEEEEEEEE-MEN go up 17-14, thanks to a schoolyard head fake by Plaxico Burress on a routine out route.

Suddenly, it's Rocky IV and the invincible Drago is cut. Tony Burton is screaming at Rocky, "You see? You see? He's NOT a machine, he's a man, he's a man!" All game long the Big Blue Wrecking Crew treated Tom Brady like he was an over-stuffed six-foot-four pinata, squashing the heart of the greatest offense of all time. And yet, it still looked like the Giants offense wouldn't be able to get it done. Until the catch that kept the drive alive, and ended the Patriots' dream season in the most nerve-shredding, nail-chomping, cardiac-arresting Super Bowl ever.

As predicted by Sports Nuts News on Jan. 24, the Giants stun the world. And best of all, Tiki the Traitor can sit on the couch during the Today Show in his Armani suit, discussing the 2008 Vera Wang bridal collection with Anne Curry, but there won't be any Super Bowl ring on his treacherous finger. Those are reserved for the guys who sucked it up, stuck it out, kept their mouths shut, and played like champions.

Today's congratulatory Sports Nuts design...

Stop! Thief!

Just FYI, the current issue of Sports Illustrated, dated January 28, features Eli Manning on the cover with the headline "Eli's The Manning".

Uh... HELLO! The Sports Nuts News entry for Jan. 15 was titled "Who's the Manning?" I don't mind the world's premiere sports publication ripping off my stuff but, hey, how about a little credit? Sheesh.

Here's the cover...



















By the way... Sports Nuts News picks The Giants to stun the world by beating the Patriots 24-17. You read it here first.